Sometimes, Good Things Come Out of Not-So-Good Situations

In my post-high school/pre-career years, I used to hang out at a pool hall. I've mentioned it at other times on this blog. One night, while hanging out in the arcade section, watching Jen Monti play Hard Drivin', I turned to find that the girlfriend who had broken up with me a few months back was standing there. She used to hang at a pool hall too, a different one, and what I learned later was that there was some sort of issue that had caused her crew to not want to go to that one anymore, so the fallback was the one where I hung out.

It was awkward. I couldn't look at her, a point she noticed and mentioned later to a mutual friend. It's not that I harbored any ill will, I just didn't know what to say. At that age, I was doing the best I could, and I’ll admit that, often, it wasn't good enough. That was the case that night. At 21, we don’t always handle things the best way.

But as the days and weeks went on, I didn't want that awkwardness to continue, so I bought her a card, and in it I wrote an explanation as to why I hadn't said anything, and an apology.

The next time I was at the pool hall, I saw her car, but...she was nowhere to be found. I was there with a friend, and we hung out in the parking lot, just waiting for her to come back from wherever she was so I could give her this card and make peace. While waiting there, this kid with long hair came riding up on his bike. He got to where we were standing, and somehow we got to talking. As a guy with long hair myself, I was probably a kindred spirit. I'm sure he initiated the conversation, but I don't remember how or what it was. His name was Dave Tyson.

I was so nervous waiting for her to get there to give her that card. The whole situation had been awkward. I was, honestly, still hurt over the whole thing, not that I’m blaming anyone (I have my fair share of it). But standing there in this interminable moment, I’d made a new friend. He lightened the mood. He lessened my anxiety to the point where it became bearable. My ex arrived and I gave her the card. She called to thank me later.

Meeting Dave was a good thing that came out of a not-so-good situation. Had my ex not broken up with me, and showed up months later at the pool hall, I’m not sure I’d have ever met Dave, or gotten to know his large circle of friends which eventually became my circle of friends. I’ve written about some of them in other posts here. They were my crew for a few years until my life took its next turn. I love those people dearly, and sadly, many of them died young. They were that sort of crowd. Dave was like a little brother to me. For reasons I’ll never know, he looked up to me. And the times I had with him and the friends I met through him have given me memories that still make me smile. Some of the moments I think back on with the most fondness occurred with that circle of friends.

I’ve learned that sometimes you can take a negative and turn it into a positive. And sometimes it happens on its own.

As for my former girlfriend, I haven’t spoken to her in forever, but if I had the opportunity, I’d tell her two things. The first would be that I’m sorry, for my mistakes, my behavior at times, my insecurity. The second would be, sincerely, “Thank you”, for the people, experiences, and moments which I would otherwise not have had in my life if not for our breakup. A lot of good came into my life out of what had been a tough situation, and I’m grateful for that.