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Crystal

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I used to know this girl named Crystal, who was a friend of a girlfriend back in the day. For some reason she crossed my mind recently. On Fridays and Saturdays we’d hang out with my girlfriend at the time’s circle of friends, and Crystal appeared in that group near the end of our relationship. Kind of like when a new character is introduced in the last season of a TV show, she just sort of showed up near the end. Crystal didn’t like me and was pretty open about it. She’d say to my girlfriend, right in front of me , “You can do so much better than him.” I’m not sure why she disliked me so much, and as for doing better, granted, I was no Brad Pitt, but I was a decent enough guy, albeit with faults. Crystal had a boyfriend, and he too was no Brad Pitt, so I don’t know who she was to judge. And as for him being a decent enough guy: pin in that. Even though she was always openly critical of me, I never said anything about it, and just rolled with it. I’m not really sure why. I was always...
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Music and Recall

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If you're cursed with nostalgia and sentimentality like I am (and I only jokingly refer to it as a curse), you may have found that there are two things that can immediately take you back to a time and place long gone. At least, for me, there are two things that easily trigger that: scents and music. I'll talk about the latter here. Not every song does it. But some are just so engrained in a memory that the reaction is immediate: there I am again, the feeling of a time and place returns, I'm a certain age again, reliving a time long gone. And it's often bittersweet -- maybe it's just me, but a lot of those sorts of memories are a mix of happiness (for the experience at the time) and sadness (for the fact that it's over, only to be relived as a memory -- "you can't go home again", they say). There's something that Alex Van Halen once said, that I was trying to find the source for as I wrote this, about there being comfort in the past because it n...
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More Human Than Recruiter

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Working in IT, I've met and worked with a lot of recruiters, both as a job seeker and as someone involved in the hiring process. They've run the gamut from "a pretty good person" to "practically a car salesman". But one in particular stands above the rest. Joel is the recruiter who placed me at my current job almost 10 years ago. And he's stayed in contact with me ever since, but not to try to poach me to another company, or to find new candidates to shop around, but rather just to keep in touch . I've never known another recruiter like him. Every few months I get an email from him, asking how I am, asking how my family's doing. It's always social, never business. Every few years we get together for lunch. He's a truly good, decent, human being. I'm grateful to every recruiter who helped me along my career path, and for every recruiter who helped out when my employer was looking for a candidate. And I'm thankful to still hear from...
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10 Things I've Learned So Far in Life

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I've learned some things in life. Granted, I don't always put them into practice , but I do actively try . I try not to repeat mistakes, and to learn from my mistakes and experiences. Here are ten things I've learned, and lessons I try to keep in mind. 1. You can be 100% sure of something, and still be wrong. This is something I've experienced myself and witnessed in others. And it can be a good or bad thing. Unlike some of the other things I'll list here, there's not much you can really do about this one. If you have concrete evidence of something, that "100% sure" probably isn't going to change. But in other cases, you may find that you were completely certain of something yet still wrong. 2. Actions taken out of emotion (especially anger) tend to be mistakes. I'm not a biologist, scientist, or psychologist, but as far as I can tell, the only "purpose" of emotion is to influence behavior. And often, influence it not for the better ....
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Desiderata

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Deisderata  is a poem written by Max Ehrmann and first published in 1927. I first heard it…on a Leonard Nimoy album, where it was called…(sigh) Spock Thoughts . It was a short time later when I found it as text inside a greeting card when looking to buy a birthday card for someone. I had no idea that it had existed beyond (and before ) Spock Thoughts . Years later, I had a poster of it, which hung in one of my offices at a prior job. I find it to be wise advice (though your mileage may vary with the line concerning God). Here it is in its entirety, as it entered the public domain a few years ago. In the original printed version, it was all one paragraph, though in later versions (such as the aforementioned poster) it will often be broken into separate sentences based on theme. I’ve done so below. Desiderata Go placidly  amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.  As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. ...
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Sometimes, Good Things Come Out of Not-So-Good Situations

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In my post-high school/pre-career years, I used to hang out at a pool hall. I've mentioned it at other times on this blog. One night, while hanging out in the arcade section, watching Jen Monti play Hard Drivin' , I turned to find that the girlfriend who had broken up with me a few months back was standing there. She used to hang at a pool hall too, a different one, and what I learned later was that there was some sort of issue that had caused her crew to not want to go to that one anymore, so the fallback was the one where I hung out. It was awkward. I couldn't look at her, a point she noticed and mentioned later to a mutual friend. It's not that I harbored any ill will, I just didn't know what to say. At that age, I was doing the best I could, and I’ll admit that, often, it wasn't good enough. That was the case that night. At 21, we don’t always handle things the best way. But as the days and weeks went on, I didn't want that awkwardness to continue, so I ...
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Revisiting "Classic Queen"

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I have an older cousin who, when I was a teenager, gifted me her old turntable (which was outdated at the time, but has somehow made a comeback), complete with built-in 8-track player (a technology I am sure  is never coming back). Along with it were a handful of 8-track tapes, most of which I had no interest in, but one of them was Queen's The Game , which included a song I'd at least heard  of, "Another One Bites the Dust". So I listened to that one. It was my first exposure to Queen, and I remember really liking some of that album over the summer I listened to it. In particular, the songs "Need Your Loving Tonight" and "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" were favorites of mine. One of the songs got chopped off halfway through due to the 8-track format, ending on one track and resuming on the next. Very awkward. Despite liking some of this album, I didn't really become a fan of Queen until I saw Wayne's World . I'd heard "Bohemian R...
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