10 Things I've Learned So Far in Life

I've learned some things in life. Granted, I don't always put them into practice, but I do actively try. I try not to repeat mistakes, and to learn from my mistakes and experiences. Here are ten things I've learned, and lessons I try to keep in mind.

1. You can be 100% sure of something, and still be wrong.

This is something I've experienced myself and witnessed in others. And it can be a good or bad thing. Unlike some of the other things I'll list here, there's not much you can really do about this one. If you have concrete evidence of something, that "100% sure" probably isn't going to change. But in other cases, you may find that you were completely certain of something yet still wrong.

2. Actions taken out of emotion (especially anger) tend to be mistakes.

I'm not a biologist, scientist, or psychologist, but as far as I can tell, the only "purpose" of emotion is to influence behavior. And often, influence it not for the better. Check yourself. Stop. Think before you speak. All easier said than done, of course, but...being aware of it increases your chances of not saying or doing something you'll later regret.

3. Get enough sleep.

This one relates to the previous point. I can't tell you how many times I was sleep-deprived and cranky, which led to saying or doing something I regretted. Getting enough sleep is really the way to go if you can do it. Not just for better mood, but also better overall health. 

4. Always have a Plan B.

I was recently listening to the audiobook version of Arnold Schwarzenegger's Be Useful, and he says that you should never have a Plan B. From his point of view, you should basically attack your goals and not settle for anything other than what you're trying to accomplish. Now, obviously, he's been way more successful than I have, but my philosophy on having a Plan B isn't to settle for less, but rather to have a different way to achieve your goal if Plan A doesn't work out. In software development, I run into it from time to time, but it's useful for just life in general. Things don't always go as planned, but if you have an alternative approach to achieve a goal, it can still be a success instead of a failure.

5. It's important to pick your battles.

There are so many old sayings we've all heard so many times that they lose any impact, any meaning, and this is one of them. But it's true. You can't fight every battle. You can't push back against every insult, every wrong done to you by someone. So choose. Pick what's worth fighting over, what's worth exerting effort to correct or overcome. And accept the rest.

6. Know the value of intent.

This one's a little esoteric. Someone's intent is important to consider, and your own intent is important too. It can make a difference in how you perceive things, and how you achieve things. For example, maybe you've felt wronged by someone. But...was that their intent? Did they mean it? Sometimes people do things with a bit of ignorance to how others feel, or maybe they lack self-awareness. Or maybe they just said the wrong thing. And for yourself, for your own actions, what is your intent? I'll give you an example: I used to take martial arts lessons, and my instructor told me not to punch a target, but rather to have the intention of punching through a target. That subtle difference in intent yielded better results. This one's probably something you'll need to experience yourself, but it's something I've learned: intent is something worth considering and being aware of.

7. Worry about something just long enough to have a plan to deal with it.

I'm a worrier. Always have been. But I've learned that if I worry about a problem just long enough to come up with a plan to deal with it (or, even better, a plan and a Plan B), then I can let it go. And if my plan(s) to deal with it prove unsuccessful, I revisit it until I come up with the next plan. Again, sometimes this is easier said than done, but I've found it helpful.

8. Apply the right level of effort.

Doing something "good enough" is often not...good enough. I have numerous home improvement projects I've attempted which are evidence of this. At the same time, it's possible to exert too much effort for something that doesn't require it. Knowing the correct amount of effort, and applying it, is beneficial. 

9. Use the right tools for the job.

Again, I have numerous home improvement projects I've attempted which are evidence of this. Having the right tool for the job makes it easier to accomplish and provides better results. This one probably sounds like common sense. There have been times I've tried to accomplish something using the tools I had rather the ones I should have had. Lesson learned.

10. Perseverance is good, but knowing when to give up is better.

This one comes from my high school friend Aydin. He gave this advice to me the summer after graduation. The way he phrased it was "Not giving up is good, but knowing when to give up is better." It's some of the best advice I've ever received, and it's unusual to find such, dare I say, wisdom, from someone who's only 18 years old as we both were back then. But I've never forgotten this advise. I've lost touch with Aydin -- we're connected on LinkedIn but that last time I reached out I didn't hear back -- but I'll always be grateful for his friendship and this advice which has served me well.